29 Weeks!

How far along? 29 Weeks

My babies are the size of: Butternut Squash

Net weight gain:  I gained 5 1/2 pounds in two weeks so I am finally at 0 pounds gained, but back at my pre-pregnancy weight. A total of 10 pounds gained back.

Maternity clothes: Yes

Sleep: Waking up to pee, a lot. Still have hip pain 😦 Oh and its 4:18am and I’m writing a blog, so…..not so good lol

Best Moment this week: SA

Miss Anything: Beer and sleeping on my tummy!

Movement: Yes, in fact one of them has the hiccups right now!

Food Cravings: Nothing really right now

Anything making you queasy or sick: Insane heartburn & the naseau has returned – not as bad as my first trimester but definitely back

Gender:  B&G

Labor Signs: Cervix is funneling, on mandatory bed rest for the time being. I feel like I am having braxton hicks contractions ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I will have them within 10 minutes of each other and then they will stop for hours, they’re SO annoying!!!! What is weird is I get them at night when I am sleeping – I will wake up to pee and as I fall back asleep will have them, I don’t know if it is from the change in movement from sleeping to getting up or what but either way its super annoying and I am hoping it doesn’t mean real labor is coming soon.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, almost all the time!

Weekly Wisdom: Be happy!

Looking forward to: Seeing the babies Wednesday & getting our flooring replaced this week!! The baby shower is a week from today and I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

We are almost there, a few more weeks (hopefully) and we will be holding our loves. I can’t believe we are one week away from our baby shower, I have been anticipating this for MONTHS! When we had our last ultra sound the perinatologist gave me labs to get drawn to find out if I have a clotting disorder. I’m super anxious to find out what the results are for many reason, but the main reason would be that it would have been the cause of Rohen’s death. No more saying it was a “freak accident” – there is a reason to it, and it could have been prevented, and more importantly can be prevented in the future. Our baby girl is starting to show similar signs of growth issues (no where near as severe) but she has been officially diagnosed with IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction) which basically means she falls below the 10% for growth (she was at 8.5% almost two weeks ago, she will be measured again Wednesday) I can’t lie, this scares the living shit out of me. Even though my doctor has reassured me many times that she is going to be OK, I can’t help but fear we will go to an ultra sound and find no heart beat. Obviously it is a lot different because I can feel her & she is viable at this point (with excellent survival odds as well) but it doesn’t stop me from being so worried about her. I am also scared about having a clotting disorder – does that mean at any point I could throw a clot and it could kill either baby? Sometimes I feel like they’d be safer if we just took them out, I hate it that the human body can be so miraculous and yet fail in so many ways as well. I just want to get past our baby shower and then really focus on their arrival. We haven’t bought much for them and now it feels silly because what if our baby shower doesn’t happen because they decide to take them out at our next appt…something we didn’t think about even being an issue. I am hanging on to hope that we will make it past 31 weeks and really aiming for 34 weeks – anything further than 34 would be incredible. Happy thoughts everyone, we want these cuties to keep cooking!! I did find out at my last OBGYN appointment that our doctor most likely won’t be delivering them (unless they make it past 36/37 weeks). I am 100% in agreement with this decision mainly because even if they aren’t coming until 35 weeks, Harper is measuring small and may need more care, because of this we are going to deliver at a different hospital that has a higher acuity NICU. I was worried about delivering at our original hospital because I thought there would be a chance of Elliott and I staying and Harper being transferred and I really didn’t want to deal with that. I want to be near my babies the entire time. The great news is Devan has an old customer from when she managed a Cigar Store that is a neonatal doctor there and after talking with him he promised us VIP treatment.

Devan’s best friend Brielle is coming over tonight to get the final touches of the baby shower in order. Tomorrow morning the two of them are going to be running around pretty much all day – getting the cribs, dresser, ordering the cakes & lunch meat platters, buying the alcohol & other beverages and all of the game prizes and props for the shower. I am bummed I can’t go but so grateful for Brielle and her willingness to help us with our baby shower. A lot of our friends are really pulling together to help us out and we are so happy. Thank you all for everything you have done and will do next Saturday, we love you!

Onto some more exciting news…we got the bedding fabric and Elliott’s carseat in the mail!! After the carpet is fully installed on Wednesday we can set their room up and have it ready to put all the stuff we get from the baby shower in it! I am overjoyed!!!!

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Devan is going to make them blankies with the fabric and then we will be using solids to make the rest of their crib bedding, I am SO excited for the final product!! Those are some sick deer right? Perfect for the woodland theme we chose!

Yesterday morning I woke up to a Facebook message from a friend saying “gays can get married in AZ now” — I looked it up and sure as shit, the marriage ban was struck down by a judge – and furthermore there will be NO appeals. I went to bed single in the state of Arizona and woke up married – how great is that? I’m so glad that we got married in January in New Mexico otherwise we’d have to rush to a courthouse to get married now so Devan could be on the birth certificates. I actually spoke with a lawyer already and asked her what we needed to do to make sure Devan had legal rights and she told me that Arizona already has parent/parent birth certificates and that she thinks we should be able to just bring our marriage license to the hospital with us and Devan can sign it! How can it all of a sudden be THIS EASY?!! No complaints her, and perfect timing Arizona.

I suppose that is it for now, more updates to come next week and hopefully good ones about my test results!!

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Hospital visit number…I stopped counting.

i feel like it is a rule of thumb that anyone who goes through hell to get pregnant also has to deal with trials while they’re pregnant, because that is just life I guess.

The past few weeks the babies have started moving to the point where at any given moment I can sit down, relax and feel them both. I do this numerous times throughout the day to make sure they’re both in there growing and strong. I woke up around 7 this morning while Devan was getting ready for work and laid in bed to feel for them. Within minutes I felt Elliott and ended up falling back asleep. I woke up again around 8:30 and did the same thing and the same thing happened, I felt Elliott but not Harper. I didn’t panic because I knew that it had been like 15 minutes and she could easily be sleeping, so I went downstairs, made myself some breakfast and turned on the TV and laid on the couch – again, relaxing and waiting to feel them move. Elliott was all over the place, jumping around and kicking up a storm but the side Harper is on was so still. I looked for the doppler and found it and tried hearing her heartbeat but the stupid thing died and i couldn’t find the charger. At this point it had been another hour and I started to panic. I texted Devan and told her I hadn’t felt her move in over 2 hours and that the sheet says if you don’t feel them move 4 times in 1 hour to go to the hospital. Considering her growth issues along with the fact that I am ridiculously paranoid about everything I sat in my living room crying waiting for Devan to get to the house to take me to the hospital. We got there and they got us in right away and set us up to the heart monitors, they located Elliott’s heartbeat immediately but it took them OVER 10 MINUTES to find Harper. The nurse kept saying “I think I just heard her…but I can’t be sure” I wanted to be like look lady, its been a minute go get the fricken ultra sound, enough with this trying to find the heart beat with a doppler shit. She finally found it after about 15 minutes (seriously) and as soon as she did Harper decided it would be a great time to start moving around like a crazy baby – it was like she wanted to freak all of us (including the nurses) out and once we found her heart beat she was like oh, fine I’ll cooperate. As soon as we heard it I of course start crying again, what can I say, I’ve grown to be pretty attached to these babies. The thought of losing either of them makes me want to vomit, but I’m happy to say that we received a great report. They decided to do an Ultra Sound regardless of hearing their hearts just because of the lack of movement initially and the fact that it took so long to find the heartbeat…of course the babies scored 100% on this test. Everything was perfect, they did everything right and got an A+. We were discharged shortly after and Devan went back to work.

Weirdest part about the entire thing? We didn’t tell anyone. Normally when there is something going on, and we head to the hospital we text all our main peeps and post a little FB status to inform everyone…I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to text anyone about it, I didn’t want to have the conversation with anyone about how our little princess wasn’t moving and then after we left I didn’t want to tell anyone about it at all because everything was OK – I don’t know, it scared me so much because for a minute I thought we were going to have to relive the worst moments of our lives and lose another child. I couldn’t do it, and I didn’t even want to put the weight of it on my friends and family either…I’m so relieved that they’re both OK and just want to get to a healthy gestational age for them to come out and hold my babies. Then I can start worrying about new things, like them falling and scraping their knees.

❤ Ashley

27 Weeks!!!!!

How far along? 27 Weeks!!!!

My babies are the size of: Cauliflower…yum

Net weight gain:  I technically have not gained any weight, I lost 10 lbs in my first trimester and have gained 4.5lbs back

Maternity clothes: Yes

Sleep: My hips are not doing so hot, Devan gave me a rub down last night and it helped A LOT…might have to make it a nightly thing…

Best Moment this week: Seeing my loves on Tuesday

Miss Anything: Beer and sleeping on my tummy!

Movement: Yes!

Food Cravings: Nothing really right now

Anything making you queasy or sick: Insane heartburn…like insane, I woke up last night with stomach acid in my mouth it was disgusting.

Gender:  B&G

Labor Signs: Cervix is funneling, on mandatory bed rest for the time being.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, almost all the time!

Weekly Wisdom: Be happy!

Looking forward to: Seeing the babies next Wednesday!!!

I’m so happy to be at 27 weeks, and almost in my third trimester!!! We had an appointment with our OB yesterday and she is thinking that the babies should stay put for at least another 6 weeks. As bad as I want to meet them I want them to come home with me after I meet them, not hang out in the NICU so the older and fatter they are the better. I asked her a bunch of questions yesterday, mostly about vaginal delivery vs. c-section and was really happy with her answers. She said that even at this gestation, if the babies are head down I can do a vaginal delivery (so long as there are no other complications) She also said that she is confident I will deliver early but that it isn’t crazy to think I will make it to 34/35 weeks which is GREAT! My twin nieces were born at 34w6d and they only spent about two hours in the NICU and got to go home right away – I’m hoping the same thing happens with our babies. I will be 35 weeks on Thanksgiving Day, so its nuts to think that by Thanksgiving, or shortly after we will have our babies with us – by Christmas they will most definitely be home and we will be celebrating as a family of four for the very first time. Devan and I are already planning our first family photo for Christmas and can’t wait to start the tradition. Side note, I absolutely ADORE our OB. She is incredible, she walked into our room yesterday and said “Its like the fucking high risk pregnancy clinic today” because she had seen so many high risk pregnancies that day, we just cracked up. Later on she swabbed my cervix for the FFN test which checks if I am going to possibly go into labor within the next two weeks and I said “Dr. Bullaro, meet my vagina, you were going to get acquainted sooner or later” she just laughed – I love that we can laugh and have a good time, it means a lot to us that we can do that with our doctor, what can I say – were super inappropriate and get along with those who are the same! I did my gluclose testing yesterday and the juice was delicious. I could have drank another bottle of it for fun. I got the results today and I passed! I definitely did not think I had gestational diabetes because I haven’t been gaining weight like crazy, nor have the babies – but it is always better to be safe than sorry! The glucose cut off was 129 and I scored a 108, so I wasn’t even close. Devan keeps saying my body enjoys being pregnant, and while she might be right, I am being eaten alive by my belly. Here is a little snap shot of Devan taking a picture of Harper bulging and I am trying to look over my baby mountain to see what she is doing and you can barely see my face. PS – My stomach looks so weird too, gross.

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My belly is measuring the size of a singleton pregnancy at 35 weeks, and with the babies weight, placentas and fluids combined I’m carrying about the size of a 35 week old singleton in my belly. It gets painful folks. You would think being on bed rest would help this but it actually does the opposite – I am off my feet so much that when I do get up to pee, make food, etc my ligaments, hips and everything else holding up these massive babies feel the burn almost immediately. We are in the home stretch though, and all the babies are going to do from here on out is pack on more weight so I better get used to it! I am starting to get more and more excited to meet them…I can’t believe in just 6-8 weeks the absolute loves of my life will be here – It feels surreal to me still.

Things are falling into place for us, we have a nice amount of moula in our savings for when I go on short term disability and Devan takes off some time, our baby shower is in just 23 days and our landlord actually got the carpet situation figured out…its a good week. Also, we are officially on car seat watch. We have the brand we want picked out (Chicco Keyfit30) and the colors, the problem is the color we want for Elliott is like impossible to find. Target is the only store that carries it and they’re currently sold out online right now – we have it set up for them to notify us when it becomes available. Here is a picture of them, aren’t they adorable?

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So we have roughly 6 weeks (we have to allow for shipping time too) for Target to e-mail us and let us know it is available…and if we don’t hear from them by then we will have to pick a different color…seriously though, I am sold on the gray for Elliott so happy thoughts Target gets their shit together! We are trying not to buy ANYTHING until after our baby shower but it is so hard. 3 more weeks, we can do it!

I suppose that is it for now, lots of excitement coming up in the next few weeks and then we will be meeting our loves!

❤ Ashley

26+5, Fetal Doppler Scare

We had our followup ultrasound today to check on Ashley’s cervix, and we got another little unpleasant surprise as well.

First, we did manage to get a picture of Harper’s face for the first time in forever, it was all smashed up into her chest and her brother’s head and very chubby!

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Putting their heads together.

Our doctor didn’t want to measure the twins today because it’s unlikely there would be any significant change in their size.

Ashley’s cervix is definitely still dynamic and funneling, but it hasn’t progressed at all which is AWESOME.

IMG_4036IMG_4039Ashley’s cervix opening and closing.

It’s actually improved a little, so bed rest is working. About 1.5cm of her cervix is still closed. Our perinatologist says bed rest is still on, but she can spend time sitting up and doesn’t have to worry so much about only laying down. Thank goodness. We have an OB appointment tomorrow, and we will talk to her about what Ashley can and can’t do. I know she’s having a hard time not hanging out with our friends Shad and Lisa, we usually see them at least once a week for dinner or to just hang out. We’re also hoping that she will be able to go to our baby shower and not have to appear via FaceTime 😉

There is a 15% size difference between Harper and Elliott, Harper being smaller. Our OB’s thoughts on this were “Eh, I don’t give a shit… she’s a girl.” (I do feel like she might be a little biased because she’s a former gymnast and she’s about the size of a fetus, but that’s beside the point lol) Our perinatologist felt differently. She spent a lot of time doing a doppler study of Harper, measuring all the blood flow. She determined that her umbilical S/D ratio is elevated, which could or could not be the reason she is falling behind Elliott in growth (she was 8% behind last month)

Cue immediate panic.

We got home and I decided to get her on the phone for some clarification, because Rohen’s problems started out like this. He fell a little more behind each time we went in, and then he was just gone. I told her that we were feeling like the same thing was about to start happening and she said that had she not been talking to us and had she not known our history, she never would have mentioned the S/D ratio at all. She said it’s not clinically significant at this point, it’s just something she wants to keep an eye on. She said, “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I was incredibly worried about your son. I am not worried about your daughter.” Phew. We were also a little worried about their weights being low, and she told us “If I had to choose between a 25 week preemie in the 90th percentile for growth and a 27 week preemie in the 10th, I would choose 27 weeks every single time.”

So the plan going forward will be to check them weekly and continue to measure them and do fetal doppler studies. We are so thankful to be coming up on 27 weeks… every week we can keep them in counts! We’re still hoping to make it to the baby shower, especially since the invites are all sent out and the RSVPs are rolling in. (That reminds me, if you haven’t RSVPed get on it!)

We will have lots of news next week, I’m sure.

❤ Devan

26 weeks & getting used to bed rest…

How far along? 26w4d

My babies are the size of: They’re as long as a scallion

Net weight gain:  Not sure, I’ll know after my OB appointment on October 1st

Maternity clothes: Yes

Sleep: Since being on bed rest my hips and and back have been so bad, there is really no comfortable position to get into

Best Moment this week: Seeing the babies on Tuesday, although my cervix is acting up, they’re healthy and that is music to my ears.

Miss Anything: Beer!

Movement: Yeppers!

Food Cravings: Nothing really right now

Anything making you queasy or sick: Insane heartburn

Gender:  B&G

Labor Signs: Cervix is funneling, on mandatory bed rest for the time being.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, almost all the time!

Weekly Wisdom: Be happy!

Looking forward to: Seeing the babies again tomorrow!

So I’m a few days late, but I think the bed rest is a good excuse! You can read all about why I am on bed rest here. Devan did a wonderful job explaining everything and even drew pictures for your enjoyment!

I’m not going to sugar coat it, bed rest sucks balls. It has been 6 days and I am already bored. I am beyond thankful I am able to work from home, without that I really think I’d go nuts! Another plus is Devan only works 3 days a week so she is home with me 4 days a week and has been the best caregiver ever. I am so grateful for that woman, she is the most amazing and beautiful person I know. We have another ultra sound tomorrow to check my cervix and see if it has improved or not and they will also give me a test that will tell them if I have a possibility of delivering within the next two weeks. I am really hoping that it is negative, if I can get these babies in the 30’s I will relax a lot more, full term is obviously ideal, but every week they cook makes a huge difference at this stage. At this point I’ve stopped caring about vaginal vs cesarean – I just want my babies here and healthy. Whatever way they get here as long as they’re safe, I’m okay with it. There really isn’t a lot to update on until tomorrow morning, happy thoughts these babies don’t make too early of an appearance, we want to meet them but we want them fully cooked!

❤ Ashley

Complete Bed Rest.

Yep. Complete bed rest. At 25+6.

We went in for our pre-Disneyland ultrasound yesterday, the purpose of which was to make sure Ashley’s cervix was still competent throughout our trip. We scanned the babies first, and they are completely fine. Elliott is weighing in at 1lb 14oz and Harper is 1lb 11oz. We weren’t able to get any face shots of Harper, she was turned away, but we did get a couple cute ones of little Elliott.

We moved to the trans-vaginal ultrasound and saw that Ashley’s cervix is funneling and dynamic, which is not good at all. Basically, this is what it’s supposed to look like:

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And this is what her’s looks like:

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Yes, I drew these. You’re welcome.

Our perinatologist told us that this definitely meant bed rest and that we actually needed to go straight to the hospital to make sure she wasn’t in early labor. Fun!

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We were only there for about an hour and a half, and in that time she was being monitored for contractions for 45 minutes. She had three small ones in that time, and they were all Braxton Hicks, meaning they weren’t painful or uncomfortable, just tightening. They sent us home with orders for bed rest and told us to come back if she had more than 6 in one hour or had any bleeding or fluid loss.

Ashley woke me up at 6:30 saying that we needed to go back, she had been timing them and had 7 over a 1 hour period. We called our OB’s office and thankfully our OB was on call this morning. She met up with us in registration, and told us that she just wanted to monitor her contractions to see what was going on. They were trying desperately to catch the heartbeats on the monitor, but because they are twins and in the most active stage in pregnancy, they couldn’t get either of them to stay in one spot long enough for them to actually get readings. Our OB eventually brought an ultrasound into the room, found the hearts, and then had the nurse hold the transducers in place for 10 minutes so she could see their heartbeats.

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(Funny story: Our nurses last night AND today were both present when we came in to deliver Rohen. In fact, Tara (the nurse we saw today) was there when he was born and actually stayed past her shift end to be there when he was born. Pretty awesome lady!)

Our OB decided that we should do a round of steroid shots that would help protect their lungs if they are born within the next week. It’s unlikely that we will be meeting them within a week, but it’s still better to be safe than sorry. She has to go back tomorrow morning for the second shot. The couple contractions that she had were directly after she was moving or when someone was pushing on her belly, so they are basically calling this a case of “irritable uterus”. The babies are moving around so violently that her uterus is pretty much just fighting back at this point! Having two of them in there coupled with the fact that she just gave birth 9 months ago is just bad news for her poor uterus, but it’s not really a concern at this point. We were told to watch for painful contractions, other than that they shouldn’t be a problem.

Her cervix, however, IS a problem. We are past the point where a cerclage would be beneficial, and bed rest is the only option to keep pressure off the cervix. She has strict orders to remain in a laying or almost completely reclined position 24 hours a day, with bathroom privileges and once daily shower privileges. This is way earlier than we were expecting… with twins we always thought this might be an issue down the road but 25+6 is just SO early!

Thankfully, we have a friend who is a new mama to triplets. (KayLee, who has her own blog!) She got in touch with a lot of other multiple moms who had a funneling cervix to ask them how long they were able to carry. The response was overwhelmingly positive, most of the women were able to carry into the 30s, which is definitely where we want to be! Our OB told us that how long we carry will rely heavily on how compliant Ashley is with her bed rest.

My sister came by today with our absurdly handsome nephew, Kimball, and he and Ashley were able to enjoy a little bed rest together.

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We have another appointment on Tuesday with our perinatologist, and before the ultrasound they will do a cervical swab to run a test that will tell us if she is in danger of delivering within two weeks. A negative on that test will basically mean we are safe for at least two weeks, which for preemies is a huge deal.

Thankfully I am only working one day between now and that appointment, so we are getting the house bed rest friendly. We are moving into the downstairs guest room, picking up a recliner for Ashley tonight and she received word form her boss that she can work from home, which is amazing. Obviously this is going to be an adjustment, I will have to work, cook, clean, shop and do everything else around the house until after they are here! As long as they are cooking, I’m down for anything. We just need them to stay in there… As I told our nurse earlier, they are rare right now and we need them AT LEAST medium 😉

We are feeling really calm right now. There’s really not much we can do but wait and follow orders! No one thinks these kids are coming right now, it’s just a matter of keeping them in there as long as possible. They will definitely be early, but thankfully we are almost out of that “danger” zone where there can be serious complications. Positive thoughts, as always!

We will keep you all posted, I’m sure Ashley will be all over your blogs while she is on her bed rest!

Best of luck to everyone as always,

Devan